Picture(s) of the Day: Shaking babies, eating cats…sounds like my kind of man!

Here at Welcome to Oblivion, I like to both entertain and educate you. So, for today’s education, let me reinforce that it is bad to shake babies. If you do so, your face might freeze like this guy’s (and you’ll probably go to jail for murder, but that’s beside the point).

Strangely, this guy really looks like my friend Tom. And as if the fear of having your face frozen wasn’t enough, here’s what happened to Tom after he shook that poor crash test dummy baby to his heart’s content:

So children, what have we learned today? That’s right: Don’t shake babies or you might get eaten.

My vote for biggest comeback of 2008? I’m going with the Black Death

According to a story from Reuters, the plague (most notably known for killing nearly one-quarter of the world’s population between the years of 1347 and 1351), appears to be making a comeback, with recent appearances in nations with no previous cases. Some of the most recent cases have occurred in Africa, because the Africans obviously don’t have enough problems already.

What many people don’t know is that there are a few cases of the plague each year still. I know I was surprised when I found this out. The image that always pops in my head when I think of the plague is the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail when the man is walking through the town yelling “bring out your dead” and some guy brings his not-so-dead father out, who is protesting the whole time, but ignored. Hilarious.

ANYWAY, in the U.S., most cases arise in the southwest. Luckily for us, the marvels of modern science and the lack of carriers (rodents) would make it extremely difficult for the plague to ever become widespread here. In third world countries, however, there is the potential for significant deaths associated with the plague. Pretty scary stuff if you ask me.

Of course, we shouldn’t get too concerned over the potential death toll quite yet, as the health industry often tends to over-exaggerate health threats (and often rightly so). It’s good to be looking out for people, but sometimes predicting the end of mankind as we know it leaves health officials the butt of many jokes when it doesn’t pan out. Case in point: anybody remember SARS?

I never thought my love of baking and 8-bit video games could be combined into one awesome item…until now!

People have way too much free time on their hands; HOWEVER, it occasionally works out for the benefit of mankind. Thanks to a lovely Flickr how-to by Eva Funderburgh, I can now impress all my friends at my next party with these gorgeous 8-bit cookies!

Yes friends, they are Tetris cookies. Eva and her husband use a Playdoh extruder, of all things, to squeeze out long rows of dough, and then lay the dough logs on top of each other to make patterns. After chilling, they cut the cookies from the formed roll and voila! Awesome patterned cookies from scratch.

I think I’m in love.

[Thanks Boing Boing!]

Here comes 2008…and a badass cold…yippee!

Here I was telling myself that since I had a nice, long break from school, I’d be able to blog so much more. Well, first there was the entire first season of Heroes to watch (thanks Lance), then an urgent need to replay Final Fantasy 3 all the way through (for the 187th time), then some books to read, and now, for the entirety of 2008 (all four days, I know), I’ve had to deal with this:

No, I have not had a small, very sad-looking child (with ginormous hands!) dropped on my doorstep. What I have had since I woke up on the first morning of 2008 is a very, VERY annoying cold. So I apologize for my recent lack of witty banter and smart-ass comments on the goings-ons of idiots all across this lovely planet, but my nose is rubbed raw, I’ve sneezed so much I think I have brain damage, and all I want to do is snuggle under my covers and have Morgan Freeman read me stories. (Johnny Depp in character as Jack Sparrow will do as well.) Is that too much to ask for?

Therefore, I promise there will be more action on the site very soon, as I plan on kicking this nasty cold to the curb ASAP.

Paging all men: please check your balls

Health campaigns are often a hard sell, so ad execs have to find a creative way to push a message. For example, in order to encourage more adults to have colon exams, at some health fairs you’ll see a giant, inflatable colon that reminds me of some twisted moon bounce (fun for the whole family!).

Here’s a hilarious 45-second PSA for testicular cancer, featuring what must be the ugliest testicle ever, getting “checked” by a hockey player as he skates around merrily. The dozen or so pubic hairs hanging off the sides are a nice touch.

C’mon boys, it shouldn’t be too hard to check your testicles each month. I mean, most men have their hand down their pants every possible waking moment, so instead of just letting it hang out down there, give the boys a little once-over.

Ok, now I think I’ve grossed myself out. Watch the video!

Picture of the day: Even whales get into the holiday spirit

Even though environmentalists are up-in-arms about how the Japanese have offered the final humiliation to these beluga whales by placing Santa hats on their heads, I still find this picture oddly endearing. The whales certainly seem to be enjoying the attention. The one of the left looks like he’s just gotten the best fin massage ever, resting against the glass with his eyes closed and a gentle smile.

And furthermore, do environmentalists actually think whales have feelings? If so, we may have to offer them some counseling at the least, and more likely some white coats.

Who’s a good little Christmas whale? You are!

I think I may just cry (from joy)…more VOLTRON!

I already got uber-excited last month when I realized that Voltron (the 1980s anime show about five lions who form Voltron) had been released on DVD (and yes, I put it on my Christmas list). I mean, don’t get me wrong, I made sure to tape every single episode when the show made a brief reappearance on USA in 1991. However, as we all know, VHS tapes like to degrade, and so those tapes aren’t exactly in the best condition.

Well, today I cam across this little gem, which made me wonder if maybe Voltron will come back again, this time to take over our world? How awesome would that be?

Of course, the more likely explanation is that Voltron looks somewhat like Transformers (who, I believe, came out AFTER Voltron) but it was cheaper to use Voltron on shoes instead on Transformers. And Reebok, just an FYI, but they’re lions, NOT tigers. Geez. Do some research people!

Of course it’s not too late to buy me a Christmas present! In fact, I’m happy to receive presents at all times of the year

I love cooking. In fact, I love cooking so much that in those weak moments where I have thought all this higher education I’m going through was not worth it, I’ve seriously considered going to either culinary of pastry school. My friends can attest to my love of cooking, too. There’s the ridiculous amount of cookies I make each year (see these posts), the fancy dinner parties with two appetizers, two entrees, four sides AND dessert, and the weekly dinner I cook for friends to eat while watching House and reruns of The Office.

Anywho, one of the best parts of cooking is getting to use knives. Another dream of mine is to run away to the circus and become a knife thrower, or a knife-throwing trapeze artist, or something fun like that. My friend Matt bought me a beautiful 7-inch Furi East/West granton-edge knife a few years back, and I think I love that knife more than anything except my teddy bear. I love chopping up garlic and onions, dicing tomatoes, slicing peppers and meats… Ah, even thinking about it relaxes me.

But alas, that is just one knife. And while I do have others, they rest in a boring wood block. I need some excitement for my knives, a way to take out frustration at the men who have caused me grief. I need this! This beautiful knife holder known as “The Ex,” allows me to stab boys through the heart whenever I go into a rage. This would make my kitchen – and me – much happier. So buy me this for Christmas friends. In fact, I think one of those lovely men who caused me past grief should buy it for me as it is a just dessert.

There I go getting all bitter again. Stupid holidays. (But I still want the knife stand.)

Tor Books chooses author to finish Wheel of Time series

If you thought I was a dork before, man were you off the mark. Here I reveal my true dorkiness: my love of fantasy. It’s not really my fault, but the combination of nature and nurture, including one parent so obsessed with Tolkien that the first real book read to me was The Hobbit, and the other parent having read almost every fantasy book ever written (along with most other books ever written really). It started with Tolkien, grew into Anne McCaffrey as a preteen, and was then followed by the likes of Melanie Rawn, Robert Jordan, Terry Goodkind, Tad Williams and many others.

Robert Jordan has been one of my favorite authors of all time since I was a teenager. His Wheel of Time series covers 12 books, hundreds of characters, an entire world, and nearly 20 years of writing. Jordan lost his battle with amyloidosis in September while writing the 12th and final book. The 11th book was released nearly two years ago, but the 12th book has been slow going, predominantly because he was sick during the entire time period and also because the book is expected to be extremely long (ranges suggest between 1000-2000 pages).

Even though I was devastated by Jordan’s death, part of me (and I’m sure all fans of the series) was nervous as to how the book was going to be finished. Shortly before he died, Jordan told his wife (who is also his editor), his cousin and potentially a few other people exactly how the story ended. And he has apparently kept copious notes over the years outlining the series, including the final book.

Last week, Tor named the successor to the series: Brandon Sanderson. My initial reaction: um, who? I’ve never heard of this author (although I guess I didn’t expect to know the person), but he has apparently written at least five books, including Elantris, which I have also never heard of. Meh. Jordan’s wife Harriet will remain as the primary editor on the book and will hopefully help guide Sanderson in achieving Jordan’s goal. Right now the tentative schedule is to release the book in fall 2009, a mere 3-3/4 years after book 11. Well, I guess that’s better than nothing (and better than Melanie Rawn writing two books of a trilogy and still not having published the third and final book 10 years later!). Not that I’m bitter or anything. Oh wait, yes I am.

Check out gnovis’ new issue

I can’t believe I didn’t post this earlier (sorry Brad), but everyone should check out gnovis’ fall issue here. For those not familiar with gnovis, it is the official peer-reviewed journal of Communication, Culture and Technology (CCT) at Georgetown University (and I am the peer review manager there). Thanks to our fearless leader, we released the best issue ever this past Sunday, with six articles spanning the full range of CCT research.

That said, it’s time for me to get back to work.

And back to crying.

jessica vitak, phd

Category Archives: life