Of course it’s not too late to buy me a Christmas present! In fact, I’m happy to receive presents at all times of the year

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I love cooking. In fact, I love cooking so much that in those weak moments where I have thought all this higher education I’m going through was not worth it, I’ve seriously considered going to either culinary of pastry school. My friends can attest to my love of cooking, too. There’s the ridiculous amount of cookies I make each year (see these posts), the fancy dinner parties with two appetizers, two entrees, four sides AND dessert, and the weekly dinner I cook for friends to eat while watching House and reruns of The Office.

Anywho, one of the best parts of cooking is getting to use knives. Another dream of mine is to run away to the circus and become a knife thrower, or a knife-throwing trapeze artist, or something fun like that. My friend Matt bought me a beautiful 7-inch Furi East/West granton-edge knife a few years back, and I think I love that knife more than anything except my teddy bear. I love chopping up garlic and onions, dicing tomatoes, slicing peppers and meats… Ah, even thinking about it relaxes me.

But alas, that is just one knife. And while I do have others, they rest in a boring wood block. I need some excitement for my knives, a way to take out frustration at the men who have caused me grief. I need this! This beautiful knife holder known as “The Ex,” allows me to stab boys through the heart whenever I go into a rage. This would make my kitchen – and me – much happier. So buy me this for Christmas friends. In fact, I think one of those lovely men who caused me past grief should buy it for me as it is a just dessert.

There I go getting all bitter again. Stupid holidays. (But I still want the knife stand.)

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