New movie idea has spider eat a NASA shuttle…or not.

A recent clip from NASA TV shows the camera watching the space shuttle Atlantis chilling out on the launch pad. Then, out nowhere, a beast of a spider climbs onto the shuttle and proceeds to eat it. Or, the spider is merely crawling across the camera lens. Regardless of what actually happened (I’m staying firmly in the shuttle-eating spider camp), the video is pretty funny. This is probably the same spider who decided to bite me FIVE TIMES on my knee earlier this week. Bastard.

 

[Thanks Boing Boing!]

Between fits of crying over finals, I found another reason to cry

Although I realize this admission solidifies me as an uber-dork, my favorite television show for a few years in my early to mid-20s was Jeopardy. Even though I don’t watch it so much any more (especially since I tried-out and got rejected…which was probably a good thing, since I tried out for the same season that Ken Jennings dominated), news like this still upsets me.

I have two comments to make on this particular version of the story:

1) Why the hell does Yahoo! have an entertainment section called OMG? I’m sorry Yahoo!, but you’re just not that cool.

2) The picture of Trebek they’re using makes him look like he does some serious fake-and-bake-ing. What’s up with that? I mean, fake tans are acceptable up into your late-20s if you’re a normal person and mid-40s if you’re a celebrity, but Trebek is a dinosaur. I mean, he was hosting Jeopardy back in the 1880s if I remember correctly.

All kidding aside, I hope the man is ok, as I can’t imagine anyone else hosting Jeopardy. Hopefully, a heart attack isn’t much to deal with when you’ve walked away from a serious car accident.

Cookies done, check. Everything else… damnit!

So, cookie weekend was a success, at least in that we managed to make every kind of cookie for a total output of 2800 cookies (close to 30 different kinds). It was an utter failure in my getting anything else done, as I spent every waking moment of Friday – Sunday in the kitchen. I think I logged about 40 hours in the kitchen when everything was said and done.

Needless to say, I’m feeling a bit like this guy below. So I’m not sure how much I’ll be posting this week. Come next Monday though, the hardest part of the semester (finals) will be over and I’ll have a bit more free time. Of course, I still have to work, and write more of my thesis, and do holiday nonsense, but maybe I’ll actually be able to sleep some more. Hooray.

 

 

It’s cookie time!

For those who know me well, I’m heading up to Baltimore tonight to begin the (only) Vitak family tradition of a four-day marathon cookie baking. I’ll be up there until at least Sunday evening, baking from dawn into the night (or something like that), feverishly working to churn out 3000 of the most scrumptious cookies you have ever eaten.

Because my parents are stuck in the Ice Age, this means I won’t have much (if any) Internet access through the weekend. If you really need to reach me, phone is the best way. And if you don’t know my cell number, then I suppose you’re not a person I want to talk to. 🙂

Anyway, if you’re in the area, swing by and enjoy some cookie goodness. Otherwise, find me next week, as I’m sure I’ll have cookies on me at all times.

Annie Leonard’s “The story of stuff”

My friend Brad just shared with me the link to an amazing 20-minute video by activist Annie Leonard on our country’s obsession with consumerism, offering the entire story of a materials economy rather than just the oh-so-happy image we often get from corporations. Leonard looks at every step in the process of a product, from extraction to production, distribution, consumption and disposal. She squeezes a ton of facts into a short space of time while presenting her information into a visually appealing and often humorous package.

The part of her video I found the most provocative was her discussion of planned and perceived obsolescence. Planned obsolescence is the conscious effort on the part of manufacturers to design products which have as short a life span as possible without removing public trust in the product and/or company. As a personal example, my first iPod died on me after about 20 months of ownership. I have some friends whose iPods died even quicker. However, all of us remained fans of the product and bought new ones when our older ones died. We had surpassed the point in time when we would have lost trust. Unfortunately, I’m not an economist and so most of the complex equations that could explain how companies reach this specific time frame are beyond me, but I’m sure there is a detailed explanation somewhere. It probably is something like the explanation of how car companies determine if a car should be recalled in Fight Club, which goes a little something like this:

Take the number of vehicles in the field, A.

Multiply it by the probable rate of failure, B.

Multiply the result by the average out-of-court settlement, C.

A x B x C equals X.

If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.

Moving on, we come to the even more despicable (in my opinion at least) perceived obsolescence. Here, we are being told by the media that even if our products have not run their corporation-shortened life spans, we should still dispose of them because they are not “in” anymore. I see this most obviously in the fashion industry, where women are constantly bombarded with the latest looks and trends. And god forbid if women do not adapt to the newest trend, whether it is skinny jeans, choppy bangs, clunky heels or metallic belts. If she falls even one season behind, said woman is doomed to a life of loneliness, for surely no man would marry a fashionably unfit woman. And if that’s the case, I might as well start buying cats, because they’re going to be my only friends for the next 50 years.

I tend to get exceptionally riled up about American consumerism around this time of year, especially with the number of companies trying to sell luxury products to the average American (who can almost never afford these purchases). And unfortunately, many Americans do succumb to these companies because either the advertising makes the (most likely unessential) product seem as necessary as food, water, shelter and air; OR, these poor consumers (typically men) are harassed to the point of insanity by their significant others (typically women) about how the best way to convey love is through diamonds (or Lexuses). The first thought that comes to mind when I think of both these situations is those stupid Jared’s commercials, which contain a number of annoying women bitching to their men, “He went to Jared’s.” Now, I blogged about this last year and received some feedback about how bitter I was. Well, I was bitter then and I’m even more bitter now. American consumerism drives me batty.

To bring this post full circle, the point of Leonard’s video is to educate and inspire you to do something about America’s problems with consumption. Yes, I know you hear it all the time, but get used to it folks, because I am predicting right now that Going Green will be the hottest issue of 2008. She offers to her top ten list of things you can do here. Most important in my opinion is one of her simplest suggestions: educate yourself and educate others.

You can start by watching the video.

Ninjas are cool, and by cool I mean totally sweet…and now they have a holiday too!

I’ve been a fan of kung fu movies for the last decade, so naturally I love ninjas. A few years ago my dear friend Matt introduced me to one of the best websites ever made, Real Ultimate Power. It was here that I learned many of the long-hidden secrets of ninjas, never before revealed to the public. For example, I learned that ninjas:

1. are mammals;

2. they fight ALL the time; and

3. their main purpose is to flip out and kill people.

With my new knowledge of ninjas, I gained a much deeper appreciation for them and their struggles to survive in a world that was so uncool. But as my love of ninjas grew, I realized that I was trapped in a paradox. I loved ninjas, but I also loved their mortal enemy, pirates. Pirates drink rum and make bawdy jokes, pastimes I greatly enjoy. What was a girl like me to do, trapped between two worlds?

 

For a long time, only pirates were recognized with a national holiday, Talk Like a Pirate Day, September 19. This day is filled with pirate talk (Avast!), pirate dress (where’d my eye patch go?), pirate names (Cap’n Lea Bellamy the Bloody Stubble, at your service) and pirate grub (did someone say rum cake?). I have enjoyed celebrating this holiday now for several years, getting my family, friends and coworkers involved.

 

But alas, there was no holiday for my friends the ninjas. Until now, that is! Behold, my friends, a new day has dawned. Mark you calendars for this Wednesday, the most important holiday of the year that falls between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I’m so excited I might pass out.

 

If procrastination is a disease, then I think I’m dying

What is my problem? Why must I wait until the last minute to get things done? It’s like I need to feel the flames under my ass to get moving. So frustrating!

The problem is that things always do end up getting done, and they almost always turn out well. I’m sure there have been times when if I had started a week earlier, the end result would have been stronger, but I have turned beating the deadline with the least possible amount of time left into an art form.

I’m actually a lot better as a graduate student than I was as an undergrad. At Elon, I would sometimes find myself printing out a paper five minutes before class started. I don’t think that has happened in grad school. In fact, I’ve finished at least one paper more than a full day before it was due. Quite an accomplishment, I know.

Now that the end of the semester is looming, I am finding myself in the same predicament as I have been in so many times before. The problem isn’t so much the schoolwork. I have two papers to write in the next two weeks, and I’ve already done the majority of research. The problem is that I’m not just a student. I have two jobs, I TA, and, worst of all, I’m currently applying to six PhD programs, which require tons of paperwork, essays, recommendations, and more. And I certainly can’t half-ass my PhD applications: I’m financially invested in this process. There’s the transcript fees, the GRE fees and the application fees. These programs may bankrupt me before I begin!

It’s quite overwhelming really. But as much as I’d love to just say f*ck it and watch some more repeats of Ninja Warrior, my stupid brain won’t let me. I’ll get it done, even if I go crazy — well, crazier — in the process.

Ok, that’s enough of a self-pity festival. Time to get my butt back to work!

(However, if you’d like to volunteer to write some papers for me, you know how to reach me. I can pay in cookies.)

Brits make most brilliant move since…well, ever

The Westminster City Council, which has decided that 10,000 gallons of piss on its city’s streets each year is just one gallon too many, has set up a most ingenious text-messaging service. Simply text the word “toilet” and you’ll get a response with the location of the nearest public loo.

This is simply brilliant if you ask me. My one question though: do you really need to have a national organization devoted to toilets?

Oh you crazy Brits, I do love you.

It’s time to buy me some presents people!

**UPDATE** Ok, screw the red version. I just found a black 160 GB on Buy.com for $70!! I couldn’t say no. Sorry boys, you’ll just have to shower me with diamonds and Lexuses this Christmas.

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Our friends at Engadget have come out with their yearly gift guides for him and for her. And since I know at least one person reading this blog is uber-rich and wants to buy me a kick-ass Christmas present, I’d like to offer you a beautiful option from their holiday guide.

Behold, the WD Passport, a 250GB portable hard drive in five different colors! (I want the red one por favor).

WD Passport

So I humbly beg my audience to consider purchasing this for me this upcoming holiday season, as my 3 1/2-year-old G5 has reached capacity and I need someplace to move a large amount of files. Yes, I know I c0uld just go out to Best Buy and purchase myself some ugly, lame external hard drive on my own, but it wouldn’t be nearly as colorful – or as portable – as the Passport.So buy away my friends, and I will pay you back in cookies and my eternal love…or maybe just cookies.