I’ve been a fan of kung fu movies for the last decade, so naturally I love ninjas. A few years ago my dear friend Matt introduced me to one of the best websites ever made, Real Ultimate Power. It was here that I learned many of the long-hidden secrets of ninjas, never before revealed to the public. For example, I learned that ninjas:

1. are mammals;

2. they fight ALL the time; and

3. their main purpose is to flip out and kill people.

With my new knowledge of ninjas, I gained a much deeper appreciation for them and their struggles to survive in a world that was so uncool. But as my love of ninjas grew, I realized that I was trapped in a paradox. I loved ninjas, but I also loved their mortal enemy, pirates. Pirates drink rum and make bawdy jokes, pastimes I greatly enjoy. What was a girl like me to do, trapped between two worlds?

For a long time, only pirates were recognized with a national holiday, Talk Like a Pirate Day, September 19. This day is filled with pirate talk (Avast!), pirate dress (where’d my eye patch go?), pirate names (Cap’n Lea Bellamy the Bloody Stubble, at your service) and pirate grub (did someone say rum cake?). I have enjoyed celebrating this holiday now for several years, getting my family, friends and coworkers involved.

But alas, there was no holiday for my friends the ninjas. Until now, that is! Behold, my friends, a new day has dawned. Mark you calendars for this Wednesday, the most important holiday of the year that falls between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I’m so excited I might pass out.