Japanese robots: making everyday cleaning so much damn cuter

lady_bird.jpg
By now we are all aware of the Japanese love of robots. They make robots to serve every possible purpose. Knowing this, it was only a matter of time before they invented a ladybug robot that both cleans public bathrooms and talks to you while you, um, take care of business. The ever-so-cute Lady Bird, due out in 2009, will scrub floors and keep bathrooms looking neat and clean. Sensors will allow it to avoid patrons as they walk through the bathroom. And if the urge grabs you to ask the Lady Bird some questions, like how bad traffic is on the highway, it will have programming to allow for limited conversation.

Man, I love the Japanese. Not only have they brought me the joys of Final Fantasy, but now they make my life easier, and for the low, low cost of $32,000!

And just in case you’re keeping score in what I like to call the “Robot Wars”, this makes it Japan 13,465, USA 1 (courtesy of the carpet-cleaning Roomba).

[Courtesy of Engadget]

I know people eat a lot on Turkey Day, but this is just ridiculous

As I procrastinate in getting ready to drive to my parents’ house, I’m sorry to admit I have on MTV’s True Life competitive eating episode. I’ve been fascinated/disgusted by competitive eating for years. I remember watching Fox’s Glutton Bowl in abject horror back in 2002. After about five minutes, I grabbed a pad of paper and started taking notes because I was so enraged by Fox. I then published this opinion article in my school’s newspaper, and to my amazement, even got a letter to the editor from a world doughnut eating champion.

Well, if you’ve just been aching to watch overindulgence taken to the extreme, fear not my friends, because another producer of quality programming, Spike TV, will be airing the Turkey Bowl tonight. This is no flag football game, but in the words of the website, it will be a food eating competition where “gastronomic gladiators will pound down food as fast as possible.”

God help us all. After collapsing on the couch in a tryptophan-induced food coma, the last thing I want to do is watch grown men eat more in 10 minutes than my entire family ate for dinner. Can we please just stop with this debacle?

This Thanksgiving, I give thanks for “the internets” … damn, how lame am I?

Mashable, one of my favorite blogs, posted the following poll yesterday:

How much time will you spend online tomorrow?

  • None you sick bastards
  • I might check my email
  • I’ll probably be on for a few hours
  • Tomorrow is a holiday?

Now, those who know me well know I am not one for holidays. I inherited my grandmother’s bah humbug attitude toward most holidays, and Thanksgiving is right up there. Maybe it’s because I have such a small family so it just seems like any other family dinner. (Or maybe it’s that the true spirit of Thanksgiving has been lost in the food orgy, subsequent food coma, and the shopping insanity known as black Friday. Man, I’m a cynic.)

But why did I feel just the tiniest bit guilty when I immediately thought to myself that of course I’ll be online for a few hours today. I’m always online for at least a few days, unless I’m traveling. Maybe I should ship myself off to South Korea for a little boot camp action. Yeah right. I’d terrify those poor little Korean teenage boys. Well then, maybe I will go.

Happy Turkey Day people. Happy frickin’ Turkey Day.

Apparently, Google took “Brave New World” a little too seriously

If you haven’t read about 23andMe yet, let me give you a quick description. For just $999, this Google-funded company will take a swab of your saliva and post it online, where you can see the breakdown of various traits and potential disease risks. Then, Facebook-style, you can compare your DNA strands with friends and family-members and decide who has the “prettiest” double helixes.

The primary purpose of 23andMe is to help fight and cure diseases. However, at the same time, it is minimizing the obvious risks of placing your personal blueprint on the Internet. Wow, I can compare my DNA with Jimmy Buffett? That’s awesome! Oh wait, someone could potentially steal my DNA, make hundreds of evil clones of me and take over the world? Oh no! (As egotistical as I am, I certainly do not want more than one Vitak on this planet, and I think most people would agree with me.)

I realize I am exaggerating the situation a bit, but as per usual, I am doing it to prove a point. We already put enough personal information on the Internet and look at the problems that causes. Do these people have any concern for the privacy of putting our DNA online? As much as I would love to know what diseases and other medical conditions I am at a risk of developing, I think I’ll pass on 23andMe for now. There’s also the obvious point of how this information could impact the quality of life of people who find out they risk developing a medical condition. Take colon cancer for example. Families that have a specific gene connected to colon cancer have a 90% chance of developing it. A North Carolina mother had her three children tested: all tested positive for the mutated gene and had subtotal colectomies in order to reduce their risk for cancer. I can understand this. But say you find out from your DNA results that you have a slightly increased risk of developing heart disease? Should you quit going to restaurants and turn vegan? I fear people participating with 23andMe will have such extreme reactions when they find out all the problems they could develop. It’s just human nature.

So don’t expect to see me joining any genetic social networking sites anytime soon. As long as I have the assembly-line-style cloning image from “Brave New World” stuck in my head, I think I’ll just keep that information to myself.

Those Germans must really, REALLY want their iPhones

 

First, the good news: According to Reuters, T-Mobile will sell the iPhone in Germany without a contract requirement.

 

And, the bad news: If you want the phone without a contract, it will cost you almost US$1500.

 

Holy crap. I don’t know, maybe the Germans have rooms filled with money like Scrooge McDuck, but I have a sneaking suspicion they aren’t keeping 1000 euros set aside for a rainy day when they can blow it on a little phone. Don’t get me wrong. I definitely like the iPhone, but I would never ever be able to justify spending that kind of money on a phone (unless it was made of pure gold and I could resell it). I’m one of those people who has a hard time spending any amount of money for a phone after the discounts, rebates and $100 off for renewing my 2-year contract. (Which is why I still have a Razor, even though I have dropped it in a toilet and gotten it wet on two other occasions. Surprisingly it still works. Well, kind of.)

So my advice to Germans: Don’t do it! It’s not worth it! It’s just a freakin’ phone people! I have first-mover friends who have to spend ridiculous amounts of money just so they can say they bought whatever gadget on the first day it was available. I think those friends are crazy, and you will be too if you spend that kind of money on a phone. If you desperately need to spend money, I’d be happy to give you my address and you can send me a check. Sound good to you? Fantastic.

 

 

Mom, Dad, I’d like you to meet my new sexually confused boyfriend….

Ahh, the joys of Facebook. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: if you are dumb enough to post things you don’t want certain people to know about on a social networking site, you have to accept the consequences. If, for example, you tell your boss last minute you have to go home for a family emergency, don’t post pictures of yourself dressed like a fairy on Facebook when you know some of your coworkers can and will see them. If only we had a Darwin Award-equivalent for Internet idiocy. Sigh.

Chuck Norris for President

To be honest, I don’t really give a crap about Campaign 2008 at this point. After all, the election is nearly a year away, and no matter who wins, we’re still stuck with G’Dub until Jan. 2009.

However, with that said, I do love Chuck Norris. I am a sucker for Chuck Norris jokes, so I had a good laugh when I was sent the following video. On the other hand, it saddens me to see Chuck supporting a Republican. I guess you can’t win them all.

Is nothing sacred anymore?

If you are a Gen Xer (or an early Gen Yer, as I know I straddle the line), don’t read this unless you want to tear up a little.

Apparently, the current sex-drugs-violence milieu we are force-fed daily by the media pales in comparison to early episodes of Sesame Street. To think, this children’s show has probably scarred us for life. Well thank god they’ve managed to save the next generation from such debauchery!