Living in DC, the Homeland Security security threat level is always present in some form. People living here don’t seem to have any concern for the fact that we’ve had a heightened threat level for most of our lives, which makes me wonder if we’d even notice if something really bad actually happened.

Anyway, the standard color-coded threat level scale is harsh, mainly primary colors. Red is bad, blue is good. So boring! With spring in the air and cherry blossoms a-blooming, the folks over at Wired decided the scale needed a spring cleaning, and I completely agree. So without further ado, I give you the new and improved Homeland Security Threat Level Scale!

My favorite is definitely the Snorkel Azure, although Rococco is a close second. I’m sending emails to Homeland Security to suggest they post scratch-and-sniff versions on all Metro trains and buses.