Today (Wednesday) is International Delete Your MySpace Account Day. Incidentally, it is also the same day “Crazy” King George (George III) died, most likely from syphilis; the day Kansas officially became a state in the great U-S-of-A; the day the 49ers became the first football team to win five NFL championships (Steve Young + Jerry Rice = totally unstoppable); and the birthdays of Oprah and Heather Graham. So MySpace haters can take faith that they share their special day with STDs, tornadoes, gold, the rich, and the whorish.
ANYWAY, I think I might have a point here (then again, maybe I don’t). So all the shenanigans began about 10 days ago when a blogger decided he hated MySpace enough to deactivate his account. Rather than just click the button when prompted, “Are you sure you want to deactivate this account and lose touch with your 200 million friends who don’t want to lose you to the evils of the real world?” said blogger decides he wants to go out Jonestown-style and get as many followers as possible to follow his lead.
I apologize…wait, no, I don’t apologize. Why do people need a Day (capital D) to deactivate their account on a social networking site? Has the power of the individual to think and act on his own disappeared as we all become inextricably linked to everyone everywhere around the world? (Thanks to the internet, we might only need four degrees of separation by this point.) I just think this delete you MySpace account day is so silly. Two thousand people deactivating their accounts on the same day is small change when you have 100,000,000+ users (in case you care, that would be a user loss of a .oooo2%, or something like that). So, honestly people, whether it’s 2000 or 10,000 (which I highly doubt), I don’t think your little fly will be noticed on the MySpace beast.
A word of advice. You don’t like your MySpace account? You don’t use it anymore, don’t like privacy breaches, don’t want random people knowing your favorite movie is Gigli? THEN JUST DELETE IT. There’s no need to make a spectacle of the event.
Man, people are just getting way too involved with their SNS profiles. This is not a romantic relationship everyone. It’s just a webpage.
I still have yet to jump onto the Flickr bandwagon, but For example, I recently blogged about a woman who used her Flickr account to demonstrate how she makes “8-bit cookies” with patterns from our favorite Nintendo games (among other things).
The Library of Congress, which houses information on just about everything to have ever occurred anywhere at any time, has created a Flickr account and uploaded more than 3,000 images that fall into one of two categories: “News in the 1910s” and “1930s-40s in Color.” You should check out this site if you have any interest in history from a visual perspective, or if you just have some time to kill. I like this one of a woman sitting outside Union Station, as it looked 65 years ago.
Ahh, children. Such joyful creatures aren’t they? Hah! In my opinion, anyone who holds such a sentiment needs a mental health evaluation stat. Since a young age, I have been compiling a list of reasons why I shouldn’t have children. I’m currently at #13,267: “I’d rather be spending that $300,000 on myself!”
Needless to say, I’m not too fond of the little buggers. However, just in case my dear sister happens to be reading my blog, please note that I do love her little buggers (although that is primarily because I have to).
Today I came across this glorious image, and thought it summarizes my opinion of children quite succinctly. Thanks to List of the Day for the image.
I came across this rather interesting world map today that looks at the average age in which citizens lose their virginity. Looks like those crazy kids in Greenland, Iceland and the Scandinavian countries have figured out that sex is a great form of exercise that doesn’t require you to go outside in the -20 degree winters. Meanwhile, I am not at all surprised that Brazil also includes some of the youngest kids gettin’ busy, as I am convinced Latinos are born with a heightened sex drive. And I must say, I’m happy to see that the U.S. isn’t the biggest whore on the block for once. Although that might not be an accurate statement. Now what we need is a map of the world showing the average number of partners people have. Then we’ll really see who the whor…I mean, “free love” believers, are.
Mashing up two typically unrelated products is a relatively common occurrence as lazy people lacking the creativity to invent new products get bright ideas that people will want to buy a 2-in-1 product, even if they already own the two individual products. An easy example of this is the increasingly common appearance of music players on cell phones. Why carry around an iPod and a cell phone, these companies ask, when you can have a cell phone that stores significantly less music and offers a much poorer quality of sound?
As silly as I find this, it can’t compare to the product I discovered today, which combines an MP3 player with a TASER GUN. Offered in a stylish leopard print, this gun is (obviously) geared toward women, who are more likely to get jumped while walking down a dark alley in a short skirt while listening to Celine Dion’s greatest hits. I understand what they’re aiming for with this, but haven’t we gotten a little taser-happy in the last year? There are women who have taken to selling taser guns to other women much in the same way they sold tupperware during the 90s. There’s been extensive media coverage over police and security being too trigger happy with taser guns. And now we’re turning tasers into a fashion accessory no women should be without.
What’s next? Maybe there’ll be a product that helps silence friends and relatives who talk too much. It could be a pen on one side and a blow gun on the other, coming with five free tranquilizer darts. Hmm, I wonder if I should work on the patent before someone steals it from me. Gotta run!
If you were born between the years of 1970 and 1985, you should have seen the movie Princess Bride at least once (and due to its popularity on cable networks, you have most likely seen in approximately 1,257 times). In fact, this movie is one of my favorites. So think about the plot line, when Wesley and Buttercup are traipsing through the fire swamp and Wesley fights with the ROUS (rodent of unusual size). That was a pretty big rat, wouldn’t you think? Probably much bigger than a rat could even get here, where they sometimes reach the size of a small housecat in the big cities, but no larger, right?
Wrong. At least in South America you’d be wrong, where scientists recently unearthed the fossil of a ONE-TON rodent. To put this into perspective, the average horse weighs in at about a half ton. Now that is quite a rat, if you ask me. Said rat could probably eat a grown person and still be hungry for dessert. Can you imagine life with these bad boys roaming the streets? Mobsters could hire them to run jobs; fast food staff would be equipped with rifles and heavy artillery; women would have yet another reason to avoid walking alone late at night. The world would plunge into a deep, dark despair (I picture Gotham City in Batman Begins).
Well, that’s one thing we should be happy we don’t have to worry about today. I mean, yeah we have wars and guns and disease pandemics and poverty and all that stuff, but at least we don’t have giant, man-eating rats. Hooray!
(Check out the AFP article here
Here at Welcome to Oblivion, I like to both entertain and educate you. So, for today’s education, let me reinforce that it is bad to shake babies. If you do so, your face might freeze like this guy’s (and you’ll probably go to jail for murder, but that’s beside the point).
Strangely, this guy really looks like my friend Tom. And as if the fear of having your face frozen wasn’t enough, here’s what happened to Tom after he shook that poor crash test dummy baby to his heart’s content:
So children, what have we learned today? That’s right: Don’t shake babies or you might get eaten.